And I've been siting here for like, half an hour trying to come up with a graceful way to say this, and it's just not coming: don't go thinking that his end is anything like related to your life or destiny or whatever, because it's NOT. Okay, please?
Just FYI, when I originally read this comment, I actually cried. Just because...that you sat there and took the time to think of words to try to help - you don't know how very little that happens when it comes to my drug use. Nobody ever knows what to say, but sometimes just someone trying is all I really need, not shying away from it. Shit, see, now I'm gonna cry again! And your right, I know your right, because here I am 3 1/2 years out and still standing - but it does just hit on a lot of my fears and I try to remember like 'the worst doesn't always happen' - because honestly when I was a kid, nobody thought I'd live to be 35 and here I am, so even if my stupid brain sometimes tells me I won't make it...well, it can go fuck itself, I'm in charge of my own life.
Related but less intense: I hope the whole cast is all right, too. It has to have been just like losing a family member for all of them.
I thought of that too. I know it's a bigger cast than SPN, but it seems very 'family-like' among the cast like SPN, and I tried to imagine what it would be like if Jensen or Jared or Misha died and it was a bad thought. Shit, I fucking bawled my eyes out when Kim Manners died in what was it, S2? (though to be fair, I had been following Kim's career since 21 Jump Street & The X-Files days). Tumblr informs me that the Glee fandom is being wanktastic towards the cast over Twitter for 'not grieving the appropriate way' but I have avoided actually looking at any of that shit.
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2013-07-29 09:19 pm (UTC)Just FYI, when I originally read this comment, I actually cried. Just because...that you sat there and took the time to think of words to try to help - you don't know how very little that happens when it comes to my drug use. Nobody ever knows what to say, but sometimes just someone trying is all I really need, not shying away from it. Shit, see, now I'm gonna cry again! And your right, I know your right, because here I am 3 1/2 years out and still standing - but it does just hit on a lot of my fears and I try to remember like 'the worst doesn't always happen' - because honestly when I was a kid, nobody thought I'd live to be 35 and here I am, so even if my stupid brain sometimes tells me I won't make it...well, it can go fuck itself, I'm in charge of my own life.
Related but less intense: I hope the whole cast is all right, too. It has to have been just like losing a family member for all of them.
I thought of that too. I know it's a bigger cast than SPN, but it seems very 'family-like' among the cast like SPN, and I tried to imagine what it would be like if Jensen or Jared or Misha died and it was a bad thought. Shit, I fucking bawled my eyes out when Kim Manners died in what was it, S2? (though to be fair, I had been following Kim's career since 21 Jump Street & The X-Files days). Tumblr informs me that the Glee fandom is being wanktastic towards the cast over Twitter for 'not grieving the appropriate way' but I have avoided actually looking at any of that shit.