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But Till I Try, I'll Never Know.
Jan. 10th, 2014 05:03 pmSo today is my four year anniversary of being clean and sober and drug-free. I haven’t taken a pain pill or sleep aid stronger than Ibuprofen or Melatonin in four years.
/deep breath in/ /deep breath out/
It is utterly surreal to me. I keep looking at that second sentence and thinking that can’t be right. Because I subscribe pretty hard to the ‘one day at a time’ when looking forward and now, looking back, I can’t believe I made it through four years. Like, seriously, how has that much time passed? And that I made it through without anything to get me there except myself. Especially with all the crazy health shit I’ve been through in the last four years.
( More under the cut, for spaceage. )
At any rate, I am proud of today! The last few months have been one of the biggest struggles I’ve had since I got clean, the health issues being the one thing I haven’t learned how to cope with and get through and the thing that brings me the closest to throwing it in. And sometimes, for no reason at all, I just want something to take the edge off. That’s just life - sometimes the edge is too sharp, you know. But I’m sitting here telling all of you LJ peeps about this and not a single one of you would be in my life right now if I hadn’t gotten clean in the first place and when I make that list, all those reasons to keep my head up, you people are definitely near the top of it.
Onto tomorrow!
/deep breath in/ /deep breath out/
It is utterly surreal to me. I keep looking at that second sentence and thinking that can’t be right. Because I subscribe pretty hard to the ‘one day at a time’ when looking forward and now, looking back, I can’t believe I made it through four years. Like, seriously, how has that much time passed? And that I made it through without anything to get me there except myself. Especially with all the crazy health shit I’ve been through in the last four years.
( More under the cut, for spaceage. )
At any rate, I am proud of today! The last few months have been one of the biggest struggles I’ve had since I got clean, the health issues being the one thing I haven’t learned how to cope with and get through and the thing that brings me the closest to throwing it in. And sometimes, for no reason at all, I just want something to take the edge off. That’s just life - sometimes the edge is too sharp, you know. But I’m sitting here telling all of you LJ peeps about this and not a single one of you would be in my life right now if I hadn’t gotten clean in the first place and when I make that list, all those reasons to keep my head up, you people are definitely near the top of it.
Onto tomorrow!
