Wow, you are an awesome kitty mom! And also, hooray for help with getting PB to the vet! (I'd avoid that conversation as much as possible too.)

I think when a cat --any pet, really-- becomes so totally intertwined with our lives, there's no way not to miss them. At least for two of them, I was holding them when they died. Bittersweet comfort, that. For the first one, I was out of the state when she died, and I'm still not okay with that.