Release The Kraken!

[dodger_sister]

I need to vent about my mom.

My mom was suppose to come over today to watch a movie. I try to do that with her about once a month. It is an activity we can do together and I think she enjoys it. She picked the movie this month and she wants to watch a Woody Allen movie. I do not like Woody Allen. I don't think his movies are funny. I don't like to support that creepy pervert who married his own kid. And though I couldn't say this to my mom, he kind of reminds me of the douchehole she had an affair with years ago. No matter how much I tried to talk her out of it, she wouldn't pick a different movie. Anyways, Mom rescheduled the movie for tomorrow because she was too tired after work today. So I have that to look forward to tomorrow.


I was also disgruntled that the day we had my sister's birthday dinner, we had to invite my mom. We are trying to break her of coming over every time we have The Nephew here because for some unknown reason she won't ask my brother for time with him. She just waits until we have him and then she comes over and wants his attention. And of course when he is at our house, he only wants the attention of myself or my sister. Part of the problem there being that my mom won't engage in any play with him. I don't know how this woman worked with kids for so many years if she doesn't know how to act silly and relax a little. So when my sister was like, "I guess if they are all staying for dinner, we have to call Mom too. She'll be pissed if she finds out we all had dinner without her," and I was like, "So now that she lives across the street, we can't have dinner with our brother without having to invite her too?" I was just very put-out.

I think the real problem here is that I have been really upset with her lately because when she broke her arm a few weeks ago, the ER sent her home with Oxycodone. She calls me up and says, "They gave me Oxycodone. I don't know how strong this stuff is. Have you ever taken any Oxycodone?"

I am not even kidding. My mother actually asked me if I had ever taken Oxy. I didn't even know what to say. I said, "Did you just ask me if I have ever taken Oxy?" and she says, "Yes. Why? Have you?"

For those just joining the group, I had a nasty little problem wtih pain pills and Oxy was my posion of choice.

I don't even know what to think about my mother asking me that. We talked about it when I first stopped taking pills. We've talked about it since, how careful I have to be about pain control because I can't take anything stronger than over-the-counter stuff now. When my mom started taking muscle relaxers she asked me about those and I explained that I couldn't tell her what they would do by themselves, because I used to take them with handfuls of Oxy.

I mean, does she just never listen to the actual words coming out of my mouth?

I was telling this story to my cousin and he was like, "Uh, she asked you if you have ever taken any Oxy? Dude, that's like asking if you've ever had a drink of water. What the hell?"

It's like she is so self-involved that anything that doesn't directly pertain to her, isn't worth thinking about. If I were a vampire or a secret agent, it wouldn't really be that hard to hide it from my mom after all.

That was very ranty. But I am going to post kissing-fic later, so hopefully that will make up for the all the venting.

Comments

[denig37]

I feel your pain *pats you*
Same with my dad, it's like talking to a wall :-/

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain *pats you*
Same with my dad, it's like talking to a wall

Thanks, babe. Same with your dad, huh? Why are parents like that? Ugh.

I do not understand parents at all. Sometimes I am telling my mom something that is going on with me and she just starts talking right in the middle of my sentence about something that is happening with her - like I wasn't even talking, like it isn't important if it isn't about her. And then she complains that I don't tell her things. /shakes head/

PS: It is probably my crappy laptop screen but I can't tell what your icon says and it is bugging me!

[denig37]

PS: It is probably my crappy laptop screen but I can't tell what your icon says and it is bugging me!

LOL, it's a Bible, just the title doesn't say "The Holy Bible" anymore, but "The Winchester Gospel" :-D

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

LOL, it's a Bible, just the title doesn't say "The Holy Bible" anymore, but "The Winchester Gospel" :-D

LOL Okay, that is funny. :)

[denig37]

I was hoping for that :-D

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

Sending hugs.

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

Thank you, darling. /hugs back/

[ceitfianna]

*hugs you lots* This is your space and sometimes you just need a rant.

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

*hugs you lots* This is your space and sometimes you just need a rant.

Thanks, darling.

I think I just felt like I was being extra bitchy this week, since I have been venting at the girls about my mom all week too. I am glad I have LJ to word-vomit all over when my mom gets extra ridiculous.

In other news, I hope it cools off a little before the Fourth of July cookout. Otherwise I call dibs on the wading pool! ;)

[jojothecr.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. Relationships with moms should never be this awkward/weird... They should always know. And care.

*hugs*

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetie. Neither of my parents are in the best mental health. I have given up on my dad remembering anything I ever say to him. I guess I just hadn't realized the same thing with my mom. Thankfully I have good support from my siblings.

/hugs back/

[poisontaster]

As the product of a competitive and super self-involved mom myself, you have my deepest sympathy.

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

As the product of a competitive and super self-involved mom myself, you have my deepest sympathy.

Thank you, darling. That sounds exhausting to deal with. Parents boggle my mind sometimes.

[vikingprincess]

My dad rarely hears what I say until my husband (or sometimes younger brother) repeats it. It's like he's incapable of recognizing a woman with a brain. And it is INFURIATING.

No, you do not need to have her over every time. She needs to understand (or be taught) that not every minute is for everyone, and quality time with one or two people is perfectly reasonable. Of course, she will probably never understand that, either. *HUGS*

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

My dad rarely hears what I say until my husband (or sometimes younger brother) repeats it.

OMG, that sounds awful. Holy crap - how does such a strong, intelligent woman like yourself put up with not being listen to because you are a woman? I always enjoy when my dad starts talking about how people who live off the government and accept government insurance are lazy moochers who should be turned out. I live off the government because I was born disabled but if you point that out to him, he says, "Well that's different." It's like our fathers have these opinions about things and they can't see how that contridicts with their own daughters.

No, you do not need to have her over every time. She needs to understand (or be taught) that not every minute is for everyone

Thank you! I thought I was crazy to be so put-out by that. We hardly ever get to see my brother and sis-in-law because they live an hour away. When they showed up just as we were getting ready to order dinner, I thought how nice it was that we could sit down together to eat for my sister's birthday. We had already told my mom that she couldn't come over because we had specific plans for with The Nephew and I don't think she'll ever learn anything if we go back on the stuff we tell her like that.

It's just been a long month with her.

[vikingprincess]

It's pretty tough to take sometimes, my Dad's interesting (annoying) quirks... but he's otherwise a pretty amazing talented intelligent guy, and he's certainly not going to change soon (ever) since he's already 73! I just try once then stop talking. We do better over email!

I know it's been a tough month; I wonder if she maybe does those things because she doesn't know how to ask for special time herself? But I also know you reach out and try to help and everything a good daughter does. So who knows. I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense just now.

Just keep sticking to your guns. Everyone will be happier in the long run that way. It's just too bad that parents can only be trained so much, and then we have to let them do what they're going to do (like kids, I suppose!).

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

My dad is a total Rush Limbaugh-esque nut but he does better remembering things going on with his kids and grandkids and actually paying attention in a conversation than my mom does. Probably because my dad takes his medicine like he is suppose to. My parents are in their mid 60s and like your dad, they aren't changing anytime soon.

I know it's been a tough month; I wonder if she maybe does those things because she doesn't know how to ask for special time herself? But I also know you reach out and try to help and everything a good daughter does. So who knows. I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense just now.

No, that makes sense. This new house my mom just bought last fall is the first time she has ever lived alone. She has always had a roommate/husband/kid living with her and I think she is extremely lonely and doesn't really know what to do with herself. I tried to get her involved in various online things like an online book club and stuff but she won't have it. But then she just wants our attention all the time and it is so easy for her because now we are right across the street. We do what we can but we can't be her entire social network. My Mom has never been a person who puts herself forward but you think she would at least be able to ask for time with her own grandkid.

It's just too bad that parents can only be trained so much, and then we have to let them do what they're going to do (like kids, I suppose!).

Ah, in a perfect world. /sigh/

[vikingprincess]

Does she have a pet, by any chance? All the statistics (which I know, you can make those dance through hoops and say whatever you want, but still) say that people with pets live longer and happier lives. Maybe she needs one?

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

She does have a pet - she has a cat and a dog. They are really good for her. She loves them a lot. She can't really afford them but the cat was one of mine that I had to leave behind when I moved into an apartment years ago (I opted to take the one with health issues instead since I couldn't ask anyone to take a sick cat for me) so I have been paying the cat's vet bills, which I figured was only fair. She went and got the dog on her own and then discoverd she couldn't afford all the bills but that dog has been so good for her that my sister started paying his vet bills just so my mom can keep him.

I can't imagine how bad she would be without that dog to fuss over (he is high maintenance).

Literally, right before I turned on my computer here, I had to call my mom about something and I was telling her about the guy we are paying to come over and look at her broken fence and right in the middle of my sentence, she just starts talking about something else entirely. Like I wasn't even talking! I think I have maybe reached the point where I am starting to be amused by it.

[vikingprincess]

Well, good - and you ladies are awfully good to cover the vet bills on her furry loves.

Heh - better to laugh than cry, maybe?

[ranua.livejournal.com]

oh hun, I'm sorry your mom is getting on your nerves so bad *hugs*

and you can rant and rave here all you want, it's what it's for after all

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

Thanks, babe. The little things with my mom usually annoy me but they have seemed extra annoying lately and I couldn't figure why. Then I thought, 'Maybe I am still pissed about that whole Oxy comment."

It just seems like it is one thing after another with my parents.

I know but I felt like I was being really bitchy and that was after I took out 500 words of other things she did that annoyed me recently. I probably felt like that because I had already been bitching to The BFF and The Sister about Mom all week before I made this post.

[wolfrider89.livejournal.com]

Oh man, bb, that is just... not OK. *hugs you*

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

I'll take hugs, baby - thanks.

You would think after 34 years, I would be use to my mom behaving like this, but her asking me if I have ever taken Oxy just made me realize how totally self-involved my own mother is. And then she yells at me for not telling her things. /shakes head/

[wolfrider89.livejournal.com]

*hugs more*

[matchboximpala.livejournal.com]

Could be self-absorption, could be a senior moment. One different perspective? She doesn't think of you as a drug addict, i.e., when she sees you she doesn't immediately identify you with your problem. Seems like she should be sensitive enough to remember it, but maybe she's just compartmentalized it in her brain.

On the other hand, horning in on your and your sister's time with The Nephew is just rude (and kind of lazy of her).

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

Could be self-absorption, could be a senior moment.

It's definitely not a senior moment. My mom has always been self-absorbed. You know those kind of people that when you are having an issue in your own life, that they somehow find a way to make it all about them? Yeah.

One different perspective? She doesn't think of you as a drug addict, i.e., when she sees you she doesn't immediately identify you with your problem.

I could maybe buy that, combined with the fact that she was in pain from having just broken her own arm. It just seems that my mom has a pattern of making a big fuss about something and then later denies it ever even happened. The BFF was just saying last night how my mom likes to 'paint her own past' and she is right about that. But whatever, she is 64 years old, if she wants to live in her fabtasy world, I guess I'll let her.

On the other hand, horning in on your and your sister's time with The Nephew is just rude (and kind of lazy of her).

You know, we wouldn't even mind if when we told her he was coming for the night, if she said, "Do you mind if he comes to my house for the first two hours and then comes to your house?" When we get him, we get him for overnight, so to spare an hour or two so he can come to her house is fine with us - we just don't want her coming to our house and then getting mad at us when he doesn't want to spend every single second with her.