Fangirl Epidemic.

[dodger_sister]

So, I’ve started seeing a counselor for my health anxiety, which causes me anxiety in and of itself, since I don’t like talking about my anxiety. But anyways, I had my second appointment today and I realized I never shared with you all what happened in my first session.


Counselor asking about my anxiety in social situations.
Me: Blahblahblah, but mostly what I don’t like about family events is just people asking me stupid questions. Like, “What have you been up to lately?” These people all talk about the same things and I’m not married, don’t have kids, don’t work. Why do they want me to say? Do they want me to tell them about The Avengers fic I’m writing, cuz I can. I’m really excited about it, it’s awesome, but they’ll probably just think I’m weird.
C: Blahblahblah, and also, when you mentioned writing an Avengers story, like oh, you write fanfiction.
Me: Yes, I do. You know what that words means.
C: Oh yeah, I’m in fandom too.
Me with my mind boggled. More blahblahblah about stuff until the end of session when…
Me: So, just curious, since I’m a multifandom girl, what fandom are you in?
C: I started out in Harry Potter but that was like eight years ago. Now I’m into this show called ‘Supernatural’.
Me: Omg. That’s my show.
C: Really. So just to warn you, I’m a slasher.
Me: Uh duh, me too,
C: I used to really be into Wincest, but not anymore.
Me: Well, in the beginning it was the only thing really heavy in the slash side of SPN.
C; Yeah, true. But then Cas came along…
Me: /noises of love/
C: And now I’m super into Destiel.
Me: Omg, that’s my OTP of Love.
C: They are so in love, it’s crazy!
Me: Right?!

So, that was how I discovered that my counselor is a Dean/Cas girl. When she gave me ‘homework’ this week, I said, “This better not get in the way of my fanfiction time,” and she said, “There is never enough fanfiction time.” True story.

Comments

[ranua.livejournal.com]

What a stroke of luck! In my opinion, counselors should be someone we can relate to, like a jury of our peers, they should be our peers, have knowledge of where we're coming from, and you, my dear, seemed to have totally lucked out on that front.

As someone who's been round and round the mental health merry-go-round for years and years, I can say having an uninvolved third party to listen is great. I really hope you're able to get something out of it and that it helps with the anxiety and stress.

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

What a stroke of luck! In my opinion, counselors should be someone we can relate to, like a jury of our peers, they should be our peers, have knowledge of where we're coming from, and you, my dear, seemed to have totally lucked out on that front.

Absolutely! And like knowing that I don't have to worry about slipping up and mentioning my hobby and getting odd looks and stuff. Like I don't normally hide what I do but with these types of people (social workers etc) they are always looking for how active and social I am, on account of being like 80% homebound and stuff. Like homebound people often get depressed due to a lack of socializing and hobbies. So with her, I won't have to worry that she will think I have that problem, because she'll understand how active a fangirl life can keep you!

As someone who's been round and round the mental health merry-go-round for years and years, I can say having an uninvolved third party to listen is great. I really hope you're able to get something out of it and that it helps with the anxiety and stress.

I'm going more for the technique building - what should I do when I am laid up on the couch, sick, and my mind won't stop running over my symptoms and trying to suss out the issue. Or when I wake up with a pain in my side and I get an immediate flare of anxiety before I even have time to process what the pain could be. That kind of thing. She has me doing a lot of homework on how to retrain my brain on health issues. It's interesting so far, but not helping as of yet. I'm going to give it time though!

[ranua.livejournal.com]

She has me doing a lot of homework on how to retrain my brain on health issues.

That's pretty cool. I use behavior modification for my depression, I hate all the drugs and their side-effects with a passion, and it is a lot of work, but worth it I think. Tho it is hard to remember what I should be doing as opposed to what I'm actually doing when I'm having an episode!

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

I just have to take Lexapro until I get things a little more in check. This past winter with Grandpa dying and the bronchitis, I kind of lost my shit. But I can't stay on the Lexapro forever because it is bad for your liver and my liver already sucks. The side effects from that were awful at first (landed in the ER with a rare 1% side effect, of course) but now the only one that still effects me is uh, tmi, 'not being able to get to my happy place', if you know what I mean. Which kind of counteracts the whole stress relief thing, since that is my major stress relief technique!

Right now I feel like I am struggling explaining to the counselor what it is like to live with the idea that you could go down at any minute and even the tiniest of symptoms could be the precursor to doom. It's like I'm a hypocondriac (sp?) but with the actual illnesses I fear I might have.

[ranua.livejournal.com]

It's like I'm a hypocondriac (sp?) but with the actual illnesses I fear I might have.

I can't imagine what I fine line that must be to walk. Between knowing you have these illnesses and being vigilant of your health, and worrying every little thing is a precursor to worse.

I'm not sure how you feel about it, but I do keep you in my prayers, and since my gods are a bit more hands on than the Christian one, hopefully it does some good.

[dodger-sister.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how you feel about it, but I do keep you in my prayers, and since my gods are a bit more hands on than the Christian one, hopefully it does some good.

Thank you, babe! My religious views are kind of like 'unsure', but it's not so important to me what the real truth is because if there is one god or many gods or no god, we should still be loving and accepting and try to live our lives as best we can. If this is our only life, we should live it well. And as for people praying for me, it is a sign of love and caring and that is a good thing! (as long as they aren't doing it condescendingly like, 'you heathen, I will pray for your soul,' or 'you poor little thing, I will pray for you,' - you know what I mean? Happens a lot to me, idk why!)