Distracted By Something Shiny

You guys! OMG! The Book is finished! My book, of a collection of short stories about the various pets we have owned over the years, that my grandmother very much demanded I write just a few months before she passed away. I am finished, finally finished. Well, not finished-finished, but I finished the writing process of it all. The book is 55,603 words. It has taken me a year and a half to write. The last three or four months, I haven't even written any fanfiction really. Omg, I can't believe it's done.

It's in my editor's hands right now. I get a two week free break, before I even have to think about it again. Then there will be editing, promoting/marketing/social media and formatting it and getting it ready for self publish on Amazon. I'm hoping to do it through a place that has options through Amazon where you can get it as an e-book or you can get it as a printed copy paperback, because it would be cool to have a printed copy, but most people will probably want the e-book. I finished it yesterday, but I was so tired last night after getting the last chapter done and putting it all together, that I just went to sleep.

But I wanted to tell you guys because I can't believe it is done! I wrote the first chapter the week before Christmas 2015 - it's been a long road. I am so grateful Grandma got to read that chapter before she passed. I'm hoping to have it out by the middle of June, but it might be more like the end of June. Then I get a week to do nothing, but sleep, and then I have to get back to work on the book that The Nephew and I are writing together. But right now I get to go to Motor City Comic Con this weekend and not think about the book. And I get to have my birthday next week and not think about the book. I don't have to think about it at all until Memorial Day weekend, when I will start marketing.

I'm so happy and I know my grandma would be very proud of me. I wanted to share with you guys, because you've always been so encouraging of my writing that I felt like I had to tell you! The writing process is finished and now I'm going to catch up on some TV, at last. And maybe some things around these parts, like comments and stuff. /insert 573 happy-face emojis here/

As I write this - Tuesday, September 27th - it is one month since my Grandma Ava passed away. It's been a long month of funeral planning and estate selling. Of family drama and family love. Of dealing with the grief of watching my childhood safe space get tucked away and put up for sale, the family farm, the place where my heart was able to find a true home. Of finding time, moments, briefly, to grieve and mourn the loss of my grandmother. She was the last of my grandparents to go and it feels like a chapter of our family just closed shut. She was an amazing, adventurous, witty, funny, flirty, stubborn woman, who made our family everything it is. I will always, always love her and be grateful to her for everything she gave me in life, everything she taught me, everything she was.

I wanted to thank you all for your support this past month. It means so much to me. I hope to be onto happier times and I wanted to start with two wonderful memories - one of grandma herself, and one of her mother, my great-grandmother.

Now you all know my sister and I are Cat Ladies, indeed. And my grandmother, oh she loved all animals. But she loved cats best of all. Among the photos we found when sorting through her albums, we came across this gem, showing, in fact, just how much of a Cat Lady my grandma truly was. As my sister said, we come by it honestly.



On another note, my great-grandma wrote poetry, so there is another thing I come by honestly, though I think my great-grandma's are far better than mine. I never knew her - I think she had passed before I was born - but I wish that I had. I wish we had been able to share our words with one another. Grandma had a folder of her mother's poetry and we sorted through them to find something to read at Grandma's service. This one that was read at the opening of Grandma's service was utterly beautiful and perfect and had us all in tears. How, well, poetic that it was her own mother's words that sent her on her way.

( Grandma's Specs. )

Thank you, my friends. It makes me smile to think of how delighted Grandma Ava would be to have people read her mother's words like this. (She might be less pleased of people seeing her holding a lap full of cats, especially if she thought even a hair was out of place on her head, but I'm going to get a print of that made and frame it for my shelf, yes I am.)

Grandma, I'll be along to the farm for a visit with you and Grandpa again, I can promise you that.

I'm not sure how much I will get done off of this month's checklist, because so much of my time is being taken up by funeral stuff and trying to help my sister as much as I can, but I will try to do a little at least. The funeral is next Saturday, but that won't be the end of the stuff we need done, especially since Sis is volunteering to do the house clean out at the farm, along with my cousin. One room at a time, sorting and cleaning. She had her first day today and it was mostly doing dishes and laundry and basic cleaning that needed done.

Anyway, here are the things I got done for July and August...

( July stuffs! )

( August stuffs! )

Anyways, I think it's okay if I take a break this month!

Today is my grandma's 91st birthday! The women in my family are a hearty brood! Anyway, I thought I'd tell some stories about when she worked at Kmart.

For starters, she called it The Kmark. She worked there for thirty years and she still thought there was a 'k' at the end and she always put a 'the' in front of it. She partly worked there to supplement the farm, especially during the off-season for crops. But also, she just really enjoyed getting out of the house, to have somewhere to go every day.

I remember a few things about her time working at The Kmark. For one, I remember sometimes she'd be working inventory and we'd have to go all the way to the back of the store, to the storage area, through two huge grey swinging doors, into a room of trolley carts, boxes and an open delivery bay. "Grandma, Grandma," we'd holler, until she popped out from behind one of the stacks of boxes. It felt like going into a secret, private club, walking through those swinging doors.

Other times we'd have to have her paged over the intercom and inevitably one of her co-workers would come on and say, "Aaaaaaavvvvvaaa, your grandkids are heeeeeere," and, of course, everyone in the store would erupt with laughter.

Grandma likes to tell the story of once my little brother and my mom stopped off there and Mom suggested they all sit for lunch at the little serve-yourself cafe in the middle of the store - (back in a time when Kmart was doing well enough they found the need to offer their patrons a salad bar). But Grandma said she'd taken her break already and my little brother, all of six years old, looked up at her and said, "Now, Grandma, surely you have time for lunch." He had to have been repeating something he'd heard an adult say, but I can just picture it coming out of his precarious mouth.

You could always count on Grandma to have quarters in her pocket for the little candy machines or the automated horsey rides at the front of the store. And if you were so lucky to be the only grandkid visiting her that day, there was usually a dollar or two in her pockets for one of the cheap little checkout lane toys that sit there waiting to entice restless children.

She retired around 70, at much poking and prodding from her husband and sons, worried about the nighttime drives and winter roads, but she lamented her working days as sorely missed for years afterwards. I, for one, missed surprising her at work and hearing her paged over the intercom and waiting eagerly for quarters to appear from her, surely, magical pockets.

Happy birthday, Grandma! Here's to the next year of your life being as exciting and amazing as all the rest!

My sister is feeling better and we were able to have the kids this weekend. It went really well. The little one freaked out a bit at bedtime, but we took her around and showed her where everyone was going to sleep and then she felt better. The Nephew was loads of help with her too. We took them to the mall - sadly, the Bouncy Place has closed down - and let them ride some quarter rides and play at the little arcade. He held her hand and chased after her when she would start to run off and helped her play on the ‘slide’ - it’s really a ceramic/metal hippo thing that kids play on, been there since I was little. It was exhausting as all get out, but a really nice weekend. Also managed to make it to Grandma‘s. She is nearly 90 years old and about to have heart surgery on Thursday and though the doctors approved her for it, I can’t help but worry. She says it’ll either go well and she’ll get a few more years with her great-grandkids or it won’t and then she’ll just go be with Grandpa. Which I find rather sweet and hopeful, I suppose.

I’ve also had a few dreams lately that I thought I’d share. ( Under the cut. )

Anyways, what’s up with all you guys?

I had some other posts I was going to make today, but I kind of feel too meh to go there. Instead I am going to talk about my 89 year old Grandma, with a heart condition, and how her cardiologist said, "Absolutely not," to her having a biopsy done and yet she is having it done anyways.

Basically she has leaky heart valves and her cardio has always said that the risk of surgery at her age outweighs the risk of the heart problem, so they've done nothing. But now she has a 'womanly area' cyst and they want to do a biopsy. Grandma had cancer about 20 years ago and kicked its ass and since then has remained in fairly good health. She is 89, still drives herself, runs all her own errands, lives alone and is still in a good mental place. She still goes to the great-grandkids' sports events, family BBQs, holiday events and all. It's quality of life, not quantity of life, I know that - but her quality is still really high, I think. She is still a go-getter. And I know it has been hard for her without Grandpa, but Grandma is tough as nails and we still want her to stick around for awhile longer. So when her cardio says "NO," to a procedure and then her other doctor basically talks her cardio into it - idek. Because in the end, if it does turn out to be cancer, will her heart be strong enough for treatment? And if not, then why even risk the biopsy at all? IDK and neither does Grandma, because she won't ask the doctors any questions, 'They know best,' is Grandma's way of thinking and she doesn't want to 'bother anyone' with a bunch of questions. Look, even if you end up going with whatever the doctor recommends, you should be informed! Your body is like your car, except if you lived in your car 24/7 and could feel everything it feels. Your body is KITT from Night Rider. Take care of KITT. At least ask the mechanic some damn questions!

The biopsy is tomorrow. We called her tonight and told her good luck. Now it's just a matter of waiting. The cardiologist's extreme reluctance and her age all make me worry. So, rub your lucky stones, send out some positive vibes, turn around three times and spit...whatever you do for good wishes Grandma's way. She's the last remaining of my grandparents and I would hate to see her go just yet.

I am home from Chicago! And I had a really good time, despite things not ending up hardly at all like expected. But I’ll save that for a different day. Today is Veterans’ Day and that always makes me think of my grandfather, so I wanted to share a story about him.

He used to tell this story about being on base in the Navy and there was a particular supply run that had to be made regularly, up a ways near a lake. So my grandmother was visiting him and he got assigned to this run and she thought, “Well, that’ll be a whole day I don’t get to see him then.” But it turns out his CO did it on purpose because even though only military personnel were suppose to be allowed in the trucks, it was widely known that the fellas often slipped their ladies along on this particular trip. So they packed a nice luncheon and made the several hours drive up there - my grandma ducking down onto the floor at every checkpoint. They made it up, Grandpa did his deliveries and then they had a pleasant afternoon, lunching and resting on the lakeshore. Then they picked up the supplies for the return run and they headed back - Grandma ducking down again at every checkpoint. It was a wonderful romantic day for the two of them, paid for by the US Navy, unbeknownst to them, of course. Apparently that’s how you wooed a lady back in the day! My grandma being who she is, thought this was the best romantic adventure ever - no problem to her that she had to hide on the floor every once in awhile!

Since the state was closed today for the holiday, my sister decided to take Dad some lunch. She said that she gets Veterans’ Day off to celebrate the veterans, the least she could do is take one lunch. I did not go because I had PT yesterday and University doctor tomorrow and that would have been way too much for me. Good thing too, that I didn’t bother to get up and dressed, since Dad slept through her whole visit. (and apparently his appointment he had later in the day as well). It was a nice gesture though and she left him his food on the table.

Happy Veterans’ Day to all of your loved ones who have or are currently serving in the military!

Like, seriously, what did my family do? Did we spit upon the daughter of a god? Like what?

On Friday someone broke into my Grandma's house and robbed her. My loving 89 year old grandmother who lost her husband just 6 months ago. She always runs her errands on Friday, so she was out doing that and someone broke into her house. They bypassed all of her electronics and whatnot and went straight to her bedroom. They overturned her bedcovers, dumped out her dresser drawers and emptied her entire jewelry collection and took it all.

( More under the cut. )

I am so upset and angry and just...my grandfather dies, my mom's dog gets mauled, my dad's dog dies, my grandma gets robbed...and that's only the big stuff. It seems like a string of bad luck has hit our family this year and I want to know who I have to sacrifice a goat to for it to stop. If you pray or think good thoughts or wishes towards others, please direct some my Grandma's way this week, as we hope to keep her safe and that whoever it is does not come back a third time. And you all be safe too!

Today is The Canadian Brother's 40th birthday! That seems so bizarre, because to me he will always be like 19 years old, which was how old he was the day he got on a bus to New York City. He wanted to try to make it as a musician. He didn't know anybody there, he didn't have a place to stay or a job lined up - he just packed a duffel, his favorite quilt and his guitar and got on a Greyhound and went to NY. My mom cried hysterically when he left, but I looked up to him for being so bold. He never did quite make the music thing work out, but he did some small musical work there and helped a few indie artists produce some albums. Then he met his wife and now he lives in Quebec with her and their two kids and a dog. I was going to send him this candy gift basket of nostalgic 80s candy - (he loved Atomic Fireballs when we were kids) - but unfortunately food can't ship internationally, so no go there.

Today would also have been Grandma and Grandpa's 71st wedding anniversary. My grandpa was like 22 or 23 and my grandmother was 17 and a senior in high school when they were dating. Grandpa was stationed up at Lake Superior in the Navy, while Grandma lived in Southern Michigan. So whenever Grandpa had weekend leave, he would hitchhike down state with truckers and the like, get there in time to take Grandma on a date and then turn around and hitchhike back again before his leave was up. Grandma turned 18 on May 3 and three weeks later she graduated high school. The very next day, they got married. Grandpa hitched down, took her to dinner, then they went to the Justice of the Peace's house and asked him to marry them. The Justice performed the ceremony in his own living room, his wife played the organ and then they opened a bottle of champagne and toasted to the newlyweds, before Grandpa had to drop Grandma back at her father's house - (where she continued to live for some time) - and hitchhike back up north to the base in time to ship out.

And that's how my grandparents got married. Old time romance stories - there's just nothing like them.

Grandpa's memorial service was today. It all went really well. Everything looked good and the photo tribute and video came out really nice. My eldest cousin got up and read a poem that she and her boys wrote about 'living in the boondocks', after my grandpa had told them that the farm was out in the 'boondocks' and they didn't know what that word meant. It pretty much showcased every feeling I have about The Farm and the way I feel about my childhood time spent there and to make matters worse, my cousin started crying before she even got through the explanation of what she was about to read - so yeah, everybody was crying by the end of that. I had to miss the graveside service, which meant I missed the military honors, for which I was sad, but it was 10 degrees below zero out and there was a foot and a half of snow and neither of those things are good for my health. So I stayed behind and watched everyone's children for them. It really was such a nice service though (and I'm not one to usually notice that kind of thing even) and my sister and my cousin did such an amazing job getting everything together. It was beyond stressful pulling it out like this, they did so much work, but I am at least glad they let me help a little, let me take a few things off their plates. At any rate, it all came out well. And this certainly won't be the last time I post about Grandpa here, as I have some stories I want to share, but I'm exhausted at the moment, so I thought for now I'd just share a poem. It's Bilbo Last Song, before going over the sea, and I think it is fitting for my grandpa, the Navy man.


Bilbo's Last Song - JRR Tolkien

Day is ended, dim my eyes,
but journey long before me lies.
Farewell, friends! I hear the call.
The ship's beside the stony wall.
Foam is white and waves are grey;
beyond the sunset leads my way.
Foam is salt, the wind is free;
I hear the rising of the Sea.

Farewell, friends! The sails are set,
the wind is east, the moorings fret.
Shadows long before me lie,
beneath the ever-bending sky,
but islands lie behind the Sun
that I shall raise ere all is done;
lands there are to west of West,
where night is quiet and sleep is rest.

Guided by the Lonely Star,
beyond the utmost harbour-bar,
I'll find the havens fair and free,
and beaches of the Starlit Sea.
Ship, my ship! I seek the West,
and fields and mountains ever blest.
Farewell to Middle-earth at last.
I see the Star above my mast!


Rest in peace, Grandpa. I'll miss you every single day, until we meet again, in the West.