Distracted By Something Shiny

It is my Livejournal ten-year anniversary. Ten years! It seems like forever and also never ago. I sure wish this place was what it used to be, but alas everyone has gone and spread out across so many social media sites that it is impossible to have kept everyone together. Still, I am so grateful to have had this place when I needed it the most — when I was getting sober. And then for all the years after. And for all the people who made this place what it used to be, and what it still is, I say “thank you”. Getting a Livejournal brought me back to fandom and I had not realized how much I missed it or how much I needed it. Fandom truly can be family, and with so many of you, I found that to be true. I am forever grateful to The BFF for setting this up for me, this place here what I never knew I needed or was missing in my life. And, of course, to all of you, thank you and happy anniversary — not just to me, but to all of us who have been here through my ten amazing years. Stay safe out there.

Today is my ninth LJ anniversary. I’ve been journaling via the Internet nine years. Usually I’d do a look back or meme or answer questions or something, bc getting an LJ was one of the most momentous moments in, not just my fandom life, but my whole life. Honestly, in saving my life. I can’t say I’d have stayed sober without it. But the thing is, the day I got my LJ was also important for another reason and that reason was that it was The Nephew’s fourth birthday. He was such a little guy then. And now he’s a big guy, bc today he is 13 years old. So despite it being my own anniversary, I wanna take today to talk about The Nephew.

This past Saturday The Nephew & I went to the movies together, as a little birthday fun for the two of us - (& bc I wanted to see Endgame again, lol). Now you might think, “Ok, don’t you go to the movies at least once a month, what’s the big deal?” Well, the ‘big deal’ is that TN took me to the movies, just the two of us, for the first time ever. I mean, let’s be real, I paid, lol. And Sis drove & dropped us off. But TN? He played caregiver the whole time. He handled my wheelchair, getting the snacks & drinks, getting us into the theater, transferring me in & out of seats, took care of our garbage, picked up things I dropped on the floor - (which, tbh, is a big part of caring for me, I drop a lot of stuff on the floor, lol). He even reminded me to turn off my phone - after we took a selfie, ofc. You know when we went on spring break this year, he handled my wheelchair all weekend, we stayed in our own room together, we snuck off to the arcade together. And he did so good!

And now we’ve been to the movies alone, together, and that’s a huge deal bc it means freedom for us both! No more hoping someone has time to take us to do fun things, now all we need are rides dropping us off/picking us up. Movies? Can do! Arcade? Can do! Mall? Can do! Out to eat? Can do! I mean, it’s not like we can go any damn time we please, like during the day in the week this summer when all our rides are at work, but still...it’s the point that we have the options. And we have those options bc TN has grown into an amazing & responsible young man, who takes good care of me, listens to me, behaves in public & is all around respectful. While also being hella fun, ofc. (He even fixed the back of my hair for me when I got chair-hair from the theater seat headrest - tho he refused to just spit in his hand to pat it down, bc apparently that’s gross).

I can’t believe he’s 13. I can’t believe he’s this grown up. I will always be a little nostalgic for 4yr old TN...but this new young man he’s grown into is gonna be a whole different adventure for us all & I for one am excited as hell to go on it with him! (As long as he doesn’t turn into a stereotypical teen who doesn’t have any time for his aunties & is embarrassed to be seen with us. But that could never happen right? I mean, we are a joy to be around). Happy 13th Birthday, monkey! I love you 3,000.

Today is May 13th!! You know what that means! The Nephew’s birthday! Well, yes. #12 to be exact. It was his 4th birthday the day I started my LJ though. Because, yes, it is my LJ anniversary! #8! And now Dreamwidth too! I came a little late to the game, but I am so glad I still came. Thanks to liptonrm for gifting this to me, setting it up and all, as an early bday present -- she’s the best bday twin a girl could have.

Sometimes I try to imagine, like, what would I be doing with myself if not for fandom? I was a geek/nerd as a kid, but I got older and angrier, and dropped that part of myself somewhere around 16. I was almost ashamed of that side of myself. I thought, for some reason, that you couldn’t be punk and a nerd, but that is SO not true. I can’t imagine where I would be if I hadn’t embraced that side of myself again. And fully. I don’t know if I’d even be here still. I would likely be a very angry person.

When I was in my early 20s, and had to move back in with my mom because of bad life choices and worsening health, I fell into such a depression. If I hadn’t stumbled across fanfic -- and realized that thing I had dabbled in as a kid had a name! -- I don’t know what would have pulled me out of that funk I was in. And years later, I fell out a bit, because of health issue, and then it went from there to drugs. But then I got sober and I got into fandom again -- even accidentally stumbled across some old friends from the mailing list days -- and for the three months I was detoxing, reading fic saved my life. When I couldn’t lay down without screaming pain, but I couldn’t sit up without shaking all over -- fanfic distracted me. I devoured it. And then, I started writing again. Like a miracle, like a new self.

Fandom saved my life.

It also connected me with my sister in a way I can’t even describe. The day she anxiously showed me her fic and confessed she too was in fandom and she had just been anxious to share her stuff with me -- that day cemented us beyond belief. And then, shirebound, coming to Michigan and having lunch with some Michigan fangirls, including my sister, and oh, The BFF. And my sister befriended The BFF, and brought her home, and the rest is a beautiful history that led to The BFF setting up this LJ for me! So many friends I’ve made on here -- some I’ve even had the pleasure of meeting face-to-face; dugindeep, rhymephile, ceitfianna. And now, soon, wolfrider89, who is coming all the way from Sweden to meet me!! I am so EXCITED! She’s got a conference in DC, but if you know the US map, you know Michigan is not a quick jot over from anywhere. I wasn’t sure how I would get to DC. And then she said, “Nah, I’ll just come to you and then fly out to DC after.” I am so fucking blessed by my friends.

The encouragment you have all given me on my publishing career, to stay sober, to keep finding ways to support and enrich my niblings’ lives, to get through the hard stuff with my health and family issues and yet keep going, to just enjoy my hobby of fanfic and not be ashamed of my geek/nerd side anymore.

I love you guys and I just got all emotional, sitting in my room, half laughing/half crying, because this day always marks a celebration of a part of my life that I know saved my damn ass.

For you, if you will, comment below and I will tell you five things I think of when I think of you. <3

It's two very special birthdays today! Happy Birthday to the Baggins Boys - Frodo and Bilbo!!

I would like to take a minute to thank both Frodo & Bilbo, as well as Professor Tolkien, for opening my life up the way they did. I fell into fandom when I discovered ER fanfic online, so yeah, maybe I would have gotten this into fandom through other avenues, but I can't imagine it would have been such a welcoming open environment as I found in the LOTR fandom. So I guess this is also a 'thank you' to the LOTR fandom, for being my first fandom-family. Today is a celebration of all of you out there who have dipped a toe or burst your way through the fandom door. And a celebration of green rolling hills and muddy dirt roads and glittering caves and snowy mountain tops and rushing waterfalls and every road Tolkien took us down.



"You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”" - JRR Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

I didn't keep my feet, Professor, and I am glad of it.

So today is The Nephew's birthday! Number ten, can you believe it? Do you remember when he was four? I bet some of you do, because I started this journal on his fourth birthday. Yep, that means today is also...MY LIVEJOURNAL ANNIVERSARY! Number six, if you will. Six years ago today, The BFF, liptonrm, unveiled this journal to me as an early birthday gift and ta-da, here I am still! And hopefully for many years to come.

I've been with you guys for six years now and I know I am still pretty anon in some things - my name and my face - and that, in fact, going un-anon has always been a source of anxiety for me because it's giving away a piece of my control, somehow. But here on LJ I don't really feel like that anymore. I used too, but not so much these days. Because I know you all. Like here, now, my LJ has become my own little coffee shop where I know everyone by name and face and how's the kids and is your mom feeling better and how was that convention you went too?. So while some things may always remain anonymous - my name - and certainly some will forever - no, I'll never post photos of The Niece or Nephew, sorry, they're not my kids to do so - I think it is time to take a leap that my counselor and I have been working on and just jump...into posting a picture of myself beyond the age of five, okay!

Because this is my home and my geek-place and my friend-space and if I can't be comfortable with you lot, my people, my family, then where can I? And besides, there are pictures you need to see. Geek pictures. Nerd pictures. Fangirl pictures. From today, in fact. From Motor City Comic Con, in fact. Because, yes folks, I spent today, my sixth LJ anniversary at MOTOR CITY COMIC CON! Which was a coincidence, but it gave me a great idea for how to celebrate the anniversary day - by giving you some glamour shots!

So without further ado, may I present to you...ME!

( Three pics under the cut! )

Thank you all for being on this journey with me, my friends! And here's to the next year to come!

Today is The Nephew's 9th birthday! How is that possible? It seems like just last week that he was 3 and asleep on our couch, clutching his Big Red Dog. Sis and I called him tonight and screamed/sang Happy Birthday to him at full volume, really dorkily. After we finished, he said, "Who is this?" That little shit! Who else does he know that will call him and do something this dorky just to embarrass him?!

But, being The Nephew's birthday, it also makes it my LJ Anniversary! Five years ago today I made my first LJ post. It was a prediction for the s5 finale of Supernatural, in which I stated it in writing that I was predicting Castiel would die. LOL, guess I called that one wrong! I don't even watch that show anymore! My second post was about SPN too! My third post was about a Star Trek dream I had, lol. The first fic I ever posted here was a prompt from The BFF and it was a Misha Collins/Michael Rosenbaum story. OMG.

( My Emotions under the cut! )

That's what I wanted to say for today, my fifth anniversary of Livejournal, that I am most grateful for all of you. If you would be so kind - if this post crosses your dash - to drop me a comment, even if all it says is 'Hi!'. I just want to see all your dorky smiling faces in my box. Come, celebrate with me, friends!

It's September 22nd!! It's a double hobbit birthday! Our charming little heroes were born on this day. And as they are from my very first online fandom and such a huge part of my life and who I am today, I make sure to always mark the occasion! (I also started my Tumblr on this day last year, but mostly I did that just so I would never forget my Tumblr anniversary. While my LJ anniversary is on The Nephew's birthday, but that just happened on accident, though it certainly helps me remember both dates!)

In honor of this day, I found an adorable birthday celebration video to share with you all!

Because they never attack someone on their birthday! I mean, they're orcs, not assholes.

And a very Happy Birthday to Mr. Bilbo as well!

Hope you enjoyed your Hobbit Day, everyone!

Today we celebrate two things and I am sure Billy Boyd will be fine with going second on this. Because today is the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. This kind of blows my mind because while 50 years can seem like a long time in regards to certain things, when it comes to equality, it's barely a drop in the bucket of our history. I mean, my parents were only sophomores in high school when this took place. That is mind-boggling to me.



I was reading this article on various unknown facts regarding the March on Washington and I really liked this excerpt: Back in 1963, college student Patricia Worthy took a job answering phones for the March on Washington's planning office. She had 10 phone lines to answer, and they rang from the time she walked in until she left for the day. "I recall one day I'll never forget, I heard someone say, 'Where is this young lady who handles the phone?' And finally I looked up, and there he was -- Dr. King -- and he said, 'I want to meet this young lady. She has put me on the hold twice, and hung up on me once, and I want to know who she is.' "

For more interesting facts and some color photos of the day fifty years ago, go to this CNN article, here.

And now, BILLEH'S BIRTHDAY! IT'S #45! That means it was fifteen years ago today that Billy set out on his Lord Of The Rings journey for the first time. He tells that story on the FotR behind-the-scenes about meeting up with Orlando at Heathrow airport and how it was his 30th birthday, so they celebrated on the plane together and then when they got to LA, because of the time difference, it was his birthday again. That makes it FIFTEEN YEARS now. I had no idea that fifteen years ago, my life would change like this, that reading those books and watching those movies would stumble me into this entire world of Fandom that I never knew existed and can't imagine my life without now.

In my search for a proper way to celebrate Billy Boyd's birthday - as has become my LJ tradition - I stumbled across a ridiculous video skit between him and Dom on the set that I had never seen before. I didn't know there was anything left that I had never seen and yet, here it is.

In which Dom brings Billy the wrong ice cream and Billy locks him in the bathroom for it.

IDEK how the fates managed to bring these two dorks together like this.

Hope all your weeks are going well!

So, yes, I have SO MANY THINGS TO SAY about the Iron Man movie. But I swore I would finish The Nephew's birthday fic before I let myself go off waving and flapping my hands like a crazed fangirl. I have to have this fic finished, beta'd, and arted by the 11th, so I'm trying to be responsible and not just sit here writing like a 3,000 word epic review of how everything is AWESOME. I'll be back for that hopefully tomorrow. I seriously think this fic only needs like 2,000 words more and I can bang that out tonight, right?

However, I just realized that today is May 5th, which is a day of significance. It is the day The BFF set up this LJ for me! It wasn't until the 13th that she showed it to me and helped me navigate through it all though. It was on the 13th that I made my first post, which is why I celebrate my actual LJ anniversary that day. But I know last year some of you wanted me to open my journal for any and all fandom-related questions in honor of my anniversary, so I thought I'd give that a go this time around. Like, ask me a question here and I'll put all the answers together into a post on the 13th!

Ask Me A (Fandom) Question: Anything related to fandom or LJ. Anything about my experince in fandom or on Livejournal. Anything about characters, otps, writing, fandoms I've been in, when I started, why I started, how I discovered it, challenge me to crossover two fandoms or make a summary for a rare pair, ask me about a fic I have posted, how LJ has influenced my life, why I have so many tags or icons, a fandom you wish I'd talk about more or less, ANYTHING even slightly semi-related to Fandom or Livejournal is fair game. HIT ME!

And since we are here and my birthday will be ten days after my LJ anniversary...Ask Me A (Real Life) Question: Anything about my life, barring my name and address, obvs. Come on, ask me about my family tree, past jobs, teenage years, literary influences, movie going experiences, hobbies, how I met my friends, family vacations, childhood pets, or just anything about my life you have ever wanted to know. HIT ME!

I'll post the answers to the fandom/LJ questions on my LJ anniversary, the 13th, and the real life questions on my birthday, the 23rd.

It occurs to me that, given the icon I used for this post is an icon from "Oz", ya'll might think I just got sentenced to 18 months in prison.

Um...no. It's actually my current "tattoo" icon, as I am now about to SHARE PICS OF MY TATTOO WITH YOU. (I know, I know, it only took me 6 months). But I figured since I got the tat for my one year drug-free celebration, and today yesterday being my 18 MONTHS CLEAN, that it is a good day to share.

Yep...18 MONTHS! In which I haven't swallowed a pill stronger than a regular strength Tylenol. ( Cut for emotional rambling. )

I should probably point out that this doesn't include alcohol, as I did get a little tipsy on vacation. I allow myself a drink or two like twice a year, but I really am a disgrace to my Irish heritage in that respect and don't really enjoy it that much anyways.

Anyways, I would have made this post yesterday - I actually typed it all up and everything - but I couldn't find my photos I had taken of the tattoo. I searched my computer for the phrase "tat" and all I got were pictures of Chad Michael Murray. What has my life become? Thankfully, My Wonderful Awesome BFF took some new ones for me. Thank you, liptonrm - (I could say it a million times a day for a million things, babe!)

I designed the tattoo myself and then I sent it to tringic - (My Girl!) - and she cleaned up the lines for me so it was perfect and exactly what I wanted, because my version was nowhere near good enough for my arm - (tringic is an amazing artist and she totally pulled this out for me and I can't thank her enough! Seriously). It is an Ankh, which symbolizes rebirth - and a Sun, which also symbolizes rebirth. I don't just feel like the rebirth was about getting off the pills, but I am also trying to work more on other things about myself as well. And I started writing again and I realized how much I missed it. So I thought the ankh and sun were good choices. Plus, I have always been oddly obsessed with the ankh in general, dating back to a necklace I had when I was like 14. The tattoo is on my left arm.

So...now would you like to see it? Hey, Tringic, are you watching, baby?!

( Here you go - PICS OF MY TATTOO! )

Now maybe tomorrow I'll catch up on comments. What? Don't give me that face - I totally maybe will.